Stop and Stare
by Madam RinRin
Summary: Stop and Stare. I think I'm moving but I go no where. Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared. I've become what I can't be... oh, do you see what I see? Not a Songfic, but based off of the song Stop and Stare by onerepublic. CielXLizzie. Happy birthday./The explanation to the ending it up, in case any of you have gotten confused.
1. Stop and Stare

**Okay, peoples! this is a little late for Ciel's birthday, but I felt like I should do this for him regardless. Alright, ever heard the song, "Stop and Stare" by onerepublic? If not, GO NOW AND DO SO! Anyway, this is not exactly a songfic, though it is based off of that song. you will not see random lyrics all throughout the fic. don't worry, I hate it when people do that too. Any who, This is a CielXLizzie Fic, sets some years after the end of Kuroshitsuji ii. Read the fanfiction to find out more. but fair warning, this is not a place for people who do not like Elizabeth. I adore her, and think she is truly a wonderful girl. If you review, I do not want to see anything along the lines of "I hate Lizzie!" anywhere, got it? I think that's fair enough. With that, let's begin. **

**Stop and Stare**

Elizabeth Middleford looked out the glass window, watching the rising storm become angry with the seconds that pass. The fire crackled in the hearth, making the dimly lit room cast flickering shadows. Her long, flowing dress was a midnight blue, and fell to the ground with ease, painting the floor with the colors of the night. Her hands rested in her lap, and so did a brown leather book. Many had tried to talk her out of her decision to come tonight. She herself realized it must have been very reckless after all these years, but she couldn't help it. Nothing could change her mind. Not even her own doubt.

She took the teacup off of the coffee table, taking another sip of the Earl Grey inside. She began to stare once again out the window, seeing the lightening flash in the distance. She set down the cup back on the saucer.

_One one hundred...Two one hundred..Three one hundred...Four one hundred...Five one hundred...Six one hundred...Seven one hundred...Eight one hundred...Nine one hundred_

A large roll of thunder was heard, making the young woman's sensitive ears ring. "Ten." Elizabeth glanced at the clock. It was eleven fifty, and she was getting rather tired. Still, going to bed now would be breaking the promise to herself. She came back to honor him, and to not be awake at the moment would be disrespecting all he meant to her. Once again, a flash of lightening was scene.

_One one hundred... Two one hundred... Three one hundred... Four one hundred... Five one hundred... Six one hundred..._

Again, a roll of thunder could be heard, and the ringing began in her ears once more. "Seven." She pulled her hair behind her ears, the soft, golden curls now only reaching just now reaching past her shoulder blades. The once vibrant pigtails were no longer there. They had been gone a long time ago, when she was fourteen. She remembered that night very clearly. How the young Lizzie had sat down, looking upon the horrid girl in the mirror. Empty eyes stared back at her, and where a bright smile once was, a pair of dull pink lips, plastic and fake. She remembered how those dull eyes began moving around, looking at all of the lovely features on her face in disgust. She hated that reflection. Steady hands opened the small dresser beside her, and had picked up the knife. She had raised the blade, taking hold of her large curls. And, with one swift movement, she sliced the right pigtail from the base. The large curls had fallen lifeless on the floor around her. Then she did the same to the left, slicing it by the base, and letting it fall to make a golden circle around her body. Then, taking one last look in the mirror, sliced off her one, long bang. It joined her curls, falling in front of her, and onto the hem of her bright yellow dress, blending in perfectly.

Once again, the lightening appeared in the corner of her eyes.

_One one hundred... Two one hundred... Three one hundred... Four one hundred..._

The roll of thunder. "Five." Elizabeth couldn't help but feel worried. Five miles from this house. Why was the lightening getting even closer with each passing moment? It was like that night so long ago. When she had stayed in this house with her beloved. The harsh storms had scared her, and she went to her love for protection, for comfort. Little Lizzie walked into his sleeping quarters, and to the side of his bed. After a few words to wake him up, he did the kind thing and let his fiancee stay with him for the night. She crawled into the covers, and they laid there with his arms around her. She smiled contently, and would nuzzle her head into his chest until she felt safe again. As she was falling asleep however, she couldn't help but notice the eye that her love was not suppose to have was shining brightly, a vibrant purple. She remembered muttering something along those lines to him, though quickly fell asleep afterward. When she awoke the next morning, she assumed it had been a dream, and that it was all in her young head.

Then another flash of light.

_One one hundred... Two one hundred..._

Then the thunder. Elizabeth was very concerned. It seemed the storm was getting closer. What was going on? This wasn't normal. If she didn't watch it, she would find herself someone struck by the electrical current. This wasn't good. Still, she would remain calm. This house was prone to accidents, yes, but she didn't believe his spirit would let her get hurt. No matter what, she refused to believe she was alone. He would always protect her, whether he's with her or not. He was strong. He was brilliant. He endured, and he would for her. He protected her when she was frightened. He would protect her from harm.

Though where had he left to? What did he do? Why did he abandon his life? Did even leave on his own accord? Though Elizabeth highly doubted so. Even when she was young Lizzie, she did not believe he was taken. Not only was there no sign of a struggle, but someone else was gone. "him." She knew they were inseparable. Not a soul, not a living being could break them apart. Her must have left with full knowledge he would never return. What was his reason?

Now that she thought about it, it would be no mystery. What kind of life had he led until then? Yes, riches, wealth, fame, and mystery. But he was, and she believed he never realized she noticed, lonely. How lonely he was. How sad he was. How terribly, terribly alone he was. He must have realized no matter how important his name, his queen were to him, that this was no life. This world must have gotten sick of him, and Elizabeth was beginning to feel it was getting tired of her as well. Lizzie wondered many times why he had left her, but looking back, the answer was clear. Even though he was young, he knew much. He must have let "him" lead him out of this house, and "him", loyal as always, gladly to his hand and walked off. This world was cold. This world was not kind. Not to him, and not to her. It was not fair.

Oh how much she would give to get what's fair.

The lightening she saw was quickly succeeded by the thunder growling this time. She stood up roughly, letting the _Collections of Edgar Allen Poe _fall to the ground fluttering open. The window's lock was broken, or was it unlocked? It opened violently, slamming against the wall, and let the harsh winds inside the library. Elizabeth looked around the room, walking backwards from the opened window, afraid that someone was coming. Another window busted open behind her, and she jumped quickly, turning around to view the other offense. The once source of light was now blown out, and she become blinded in the dark. She paused.

The door was open.

Elizabeth's body began to follow her eyes, and she turned to face the other side of the room. Yes, the door was open. There was a long rectangle darker than the rest of the room. Screeching began to pierce her ears, which lead her to look at her right window once more. A large, black raven made it way into the room, and balanced itself on her abandoned teacup. She was confused for a moment, though remained on her guard, her attention on both the door, and now the dark raven. It screeched once more, and began to fly up in the air, shocking her for a moment, and she went to block her face for protection. Then, the lightening. Her ears instantly were assaulted by the thunder strike.

Elizabeth look up, and in the brightness of the lightening, saw a small figure. It was regal, refined, and black cape and a signature cane. Raven hair, a dignified stare, and bright red, burning eyes. The brief light only lasted for a moment, and she could no longer see her beloved, but no matter how much she wished, those bright red, burning eyes, she could see them. They cut through the darkness, and looked upon her. She choked on words. What else could she do? It was him. In front of her.

"_CIEL! It's you! You've returned! Oh my darling, I've missed you so much! Why did you leave me all alone? We were to get married! We were to have a family! We were to have our ever after! What did you do to your clothing? I say, I do believe you'll look much cuter in the clothing I've picked out! I know, to celebrate, we should through a party, don't you agree? A welcome back party. Oh it will be just marvelous, and then we'll get married, and have a family, and our happily ever after. Oh Ciel, don't you think it would be wonderful?"_

All she could do was stare. Stare at those red glowing eyes, break down, and cry. She fell to her knees, and her whole entire body felt heavy, and hung. He was here. Her beloved. And she couldn't bring herself to move. She wasn't Lizzie.

Elizabeth heard the familiar click of small dress shoes, walking towards her. Suddenly, she became very frightened. Why was he walking to her? Why wasn't she running to him? What had happened? What had she done with her life? He would be disappointed in her. And why, why... didn't she feel safe? The clicking of his shoes drove her insane, but she could do nothing. Nothing at all... why was she so weak.

The clicking noise stopped in front of her, and she felt small arms wrap around her also petite frame. She felt a tiny shoulder, a small chest, soft black clothes, and gloved hands, one around her waist, the other, intertwined with the soft, golden locks of her hair. "My dear Lizzie, I believe I've told you before it was not lady like to cry."

At these words, she busted into tears, clinging onto her Beloved. She held onto him, crying into his small shoulder. She couldn't speak. She couldn't talk. All she could do was hold onto her beloved, the one she had lost.

"_Ciel... oh Ciel, you've returned! I've waited so long for you! I'll never let you go again! I promise I'll always be there for you."_

He pulled back from her, those red piercing eyes meeting her emerald ones. A soft, kind smile was on his face, and she smiled back, tears still rolling down her face. "Oh, my Lizzie, I've put you through so much. Could it be I've been the reason for all your tears?" His hand reached for her cheek, cupping it softly, and lovingly. His black thumb gently wiped away the tear stains upon her cheeks, and her beloved kiss her softly, relieving Elizabeth of all of her worries. Oh how she still loved him. She always would. He had returned to her.

"Come, let us dance."

His hand was outstretched to her, and she gladly took it.

Her beloved hands around her waist, his other intertwined with her own. Her right hand on his shoulder, and they danced. They dance to the violin that Sebastian played, and she smiled. Smiled, for the first time, in a long time.

"My dear Lizzie, how old are you now?"

"I'm twenty-one."

"That's wonderful. You must have waited so long for me."

"I did! I waited very patiently. Oh Ciel, how I've missed you! I love you! I love you so much, I couldn't stop myself from loving you. You are the only one for me. No one else compared. I remember my mother taking me to parties, and all of the men that wished to be my suitor. But I just couldn't, you see. I just couldn't. None of them were you. I knew you'd come back for me. I just knew it."

"Thank you, Lizzie. You don't know how much that means to me..."

"_My lord... what a kind, twisted heart you have. Tell me, what made you show such cold kindness?"_

"_...I am a man of my word. She has suffered enough. If this will make her happy, then I've kept my promise to her..."_

…

The first snow of the year. fell on the ground, the storms from the previous night had died down shortly after midnight. After the long, harsh night, young Lord Charles Montel stepped out of a black horse drawn carriage, helping down his future mother-in-law, Frances Middleford. After much persuasion, that stern woman finally consented into having her daughter betrothed once more, to small, kind man. He promised to be good, and would love her, and that was all she wanted for her daughter at this point. He wasn't the most ambitious, not very bright either, but he would love her, and secure her financial standings. Not to mention, they we're guaranteed to have beautiful grandchildren. She hope that his looks would put Elizabeth at ease, no matter how bad that sounded. Black hair, and deep, blue eyes. Yes. Maybe it would finally make her relaxed.

Lord Montel looked upon the magnificent mansion before him. This, a long time ago, could have been the home of his fiancee now. Yes, it truly was magnificent, grand, and bold. See such a wonderful estate, he couldn't help but feel belittled. His fiancee could have had better than him, that she could. Would she want to marry such a lower noble? He remembered her kindness, and the sad smile she gave. Oh how he wanted to be the one to bring it back. Hopefully she could find happiness once more in him.

They walked inside of the grand mansion, seeing morning lit foyer. It was covered in dust, though it did not detract from how magnificent the house must have been when it had the late Earl Phantomhive living in it. Montel truly was impressed, and couldn't help but have respect for the young lord. He was, truly, a visionary. Even for his young age, the boy had done more than any man would in a lifetime. Could he measure up to her lost love?

Laughter broke through the silence, and both Montel and Frances could tell it was from upstairs. They walked up slowly, and the young lord couldn't help but wonder if it was the beautiful voice of his fiancee that laughed joyfully. Had she finally began to recover from her broken heart? He couldn't help but feel hopeful. Maybe she found something that she found quite charming, or maybe she was decorating the mansion to be as gorgeous as herself? He recalled those stories from others. Oh he wished his love would be as she was. Happy and bright. Charles broke out into a run, following the sound of his Elizabeth's voice. He looked forward to seeing her smiling face.

Though although he saw her smiling face, he wondered if he decided to marry a mad woman. His Elizabeth was laughing and happy, yes, but why was she dancing all alone?

"Oh Ciel, happy birthday! That's why I came here! I wanted to tell you that so much, I just knew if I came to your mansion you'd be here. That's why I came. I wanted to celebrate the day of your birth together! Oh Ciel, how I love you. I'll always love you. You'll always be my one and only."

"I'm glad. Thank you. I haven't been told that in a long time."

_Stop and Stare. I think I'm moving, but I go nowhere. Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared. But I've become what I can't be. Oh, do you see what I see?_

**So, that's the end! I think I made a real tear jerker this time XD. Please review. Also, if there is a few grammar errors, forgive me. I am terrible at grammar. Hopefully you found this as good as I did. Happy belated birthday, Lord Phantomhive. **_  
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	2. Author's explanation

**Author's note:**

**(I used Lizzie instead of Lizzy in this fic. I wasn't quite sure how to spell it, so I used the spelling most of my friends told me they used for their own name. So, I'll just stick with it for this, even though normally wrong spelling bugs me, I don't think it really matters in this.)**

**Hey everyone! It's been over a year and a half since I've written Stop and Stare, my Lizzie and Ciel Fanfiction, and I think it's been long enough that I've kept you all confused and wondering what exactly happened to Elizabeth at the end. Am I right? :) so, I'm going to try to explain the one shot a little more if you are interested in reading this! And I know this is long overdue. I've actually thought of writing a sequel to this to tie up lose ends.**

**The reason why I made the ending so vague, is because I almost wanted to leave it up to the individual's interpretation on how they wanted to see what really happened. But I think I've left it a little too vague... And I just confused you all! And that's what I didn't want to happen. So I'm going to go through everything one by one, from the beginning to end. I'll also explain the connection this song has to the fic, and how it gave me the inspiration, etc.**

**Elizabeth is counting down until the next strike of lightning. This is from something my father told me when I was a girl, that you could tell how far Lightning was by how long the space lasted in the delay between the lightning and the sound of thunder. Shorter the time, the closer it was to you. It's honestly something she's doing to pass the time, as a sort of comfort to being completely alone in the dusty old house. **

**The Edgar Allen Poe collections and Earl Grey tea are suppose to be sort of her way of remembering Ciel. Since it is his birthday that next day. Also, her recalling past times with Ciel are suppose to give more information and insight on their relationship when he was around, and be her_"Counting up the years." _Like in the song Stop and Stare, she is sitting down, recalling the past and coming to terms with the person she has morphed into, away from the happy, go-lucky Lizzie she used to be. She's _"Staring down herself."_**

**The line _"Time to make one last appeal for the life I lead" _can refer to different things. Lizzie remembering the past, the conversation between Ciel and Sebastian, and even Lord Montel, who's similar traits to Ciel made Frances believe it might help Lizzie be more at ease, come to terms with her past, move on... **

"_**Stop and Stare, I think I'm moving but I go no where. Yeah I know that everyone gets scared, But I've become what I can't be."**_** This can work for both Ciel and Lizzie. Ciel, while he has left his mansion, his fiancee, his life behind because of him turning into a demon himself, still goes back to say a final good bye. While he wanted to be with Lizzie, he's become something he can't be to do so. Lizzie, is stuck in the past. While she has aged physically, her mind and soul are now torn into pieces. She has not gotten over Ciel, her love, her friend, her cousin. And she comes to terms with the fact that she isn't who she used to be because of it. In a sense, you can say that she's not Lizzie at all. Lizzie is a different person than Elizabeth.**

"_**They're tryin' to come back, all my senses push. Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could. Steady feet, don't fail me now. I'm gonna run till you can't walk. Something pulls my focus out, and I'm standing down."**_

**This is pretty self explanatory to me. To me, it explains the scene where Elizabeth is seeing Ciel once more. The internal conflict between "Lizzie" and "Elizabeth" was something very fun to write. She let's herself go, crying in his arms, and _"Untying the weight bags",_ finally being happy once more. Her _"Steady Feet" _can't move, and her _"Focus" _is pulled out from seeing him once more, making it hard for her to determine what is real and fake. She _"Stands down",_ overwhelmed by seeing him.**

_**"Stop and stare. You start to wonder why you're here not there. And you'd give anything to get what's fair. But fair ain't what you really need."**_

**Elizabeth flat out says that she would give anything to get what's fair. Not only that, but she begins to think about how why Ciel would leave, among other things. **

**But, _"Fair ain't what you really need."_**

**This is where it got confusing for a lot of you. And I'm sorry about that. Because that wasn't what she would really need. Lord Montel, is supposed to just have similar qualities that Ciel used to have, like the dark hair and blue eyes. Not exactly like him, but just little things that might comfort her when she looks at him. Personality wise, he isn't like Ciel at all. He's not reserved, quiet, and he doesn't have the confidence. But he was supposed to have grown fond of Lizzie as the years went by, and end up believing she was the most beautiful woman, in every sense of the world. And, like Ciel, would have done anything for her. He actually might have been really good for her, and help her lead a happier life.**

**I actually began to really like him as an original character I made up. I was thinking about writing more stuff just so I can put him in it.**

**If you were wondering, the raven that came into the room that night, was supposed to represent Sebastian, and of course, make an illusion to Poe's _"The Raven."_**

**Anyway, this was where it might have gotten confusing, because I wanted to leave it up to the reader to determine what actually might have happened that night. Ciel "shows up" in front of Elizabeth, and wipes away her tears. He picks her up, and they dance to the music Sebastian "Plays on the violin." And they talk, Lizzie finally coming back to life.**

**They "danced" until morning, when her mother and Montel arrives.**

**If you recall, in Sebastian and Ciel's conversation, Sebastian asks why he decided to show such "Cruel Kindness" to her. Which Ciel replies that if it made her happy, then he was fulfilling the promise he made. These two lines I put in to suggest that Ciel, while he cared about Lizzie, didn't want to admit it, almost treating it as if they had some sort of bond or agreement because they were betrothed, or known each other since childhood, or something else. But it doesn't suggest that he loves her. In fact, even at the end, when she says she loves him, he doesn't say "I love you too. Instead, he thanks her. **

**But it also was supposed to hint that he did something to her, by showing her "Cruel Kindness."**

"_**Do you see what I see?"**_

**I wasn't going for the "happy ending." In fact, it was supposed to be bittersweet an a little bit morbid. Because while she is dancing, Montel wonders if he's married a madwoman, for she is dancing all alone. No one is there.**

**When I wrote it, I wrote it as if the whole entire conversation with Ciel was just in her head, that she had been driven insane when she saw those red eyes in the library or the commotion, or that Ciel wasn't really there at all, that he just used his new demonic powers to manipulate and control her mind, into making her crazy. Perhaps he was actually there for awhile, out of pure kindness, and said all those kind words to make her feel comfortable and safe. Then, after initiating the dance, slowly disappears, leaving her to dance alone to the "Violin" she is imagining being played, like so long ago. Any way you like to see it, the "Cruel Kindness" Sebastian was referring to was Ciel putting her out of her misery by driving her insane. Ciel somehow knew how miserable she was, and either because he cared for her, or just a way to fulfill a duty to protect her or make her happy, drove her insane. **

**But, if you want it to be a happy ending, that he really was there with her, then of course, go right ahead and see it as such :)**

**When you think about it, Ciel did what he thought was the best option. But, if he hadn't appeared or showed up that night, going back to the mansion might have become a way for Lizzie to finally get over her past love, and in the morning, continue on her life, perhaps accepting Montel's proposal, and living content. Who knows? However, Ciel thought she would be happiest insane. "Ignorance is bliss."**

**Perhaps he didn't want her to move on. Perhaps he wanted her to be stuck, forever in love with him because of some sort of possessive feeling he had over her O.o Maybe that's stretching too much, but it really is up to you, however you would like to think of it! **

**Well, I hope this answered your questions! If not, please review and inform me, and I'll be sure to message you back with an answer! Also, tell me if you would like a sequel, and I might write it! And Requests at all I will take. It doesn't even have to be a ciel/lizzie, it could be any yaoi or yuri as well, I don't mind! :) Thanks for reading! **


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